jonah

since graduation i have been working at the church i grew up in l-town as the children's ministry intern. i have a week left and it's another bittersweet ending in my life. i have enjoyed my time here, but i'm ready to go back to baylor and start graduate school. i believe that my calling has become more defined and clear and i'm ready to get back to school so that i can continue to work through all of that. bring it on grad school.

in other happenings, i have been leading the children's Bible study/worship on sunday evenings for the past month. it's been an experience because there are only like 2-5 kids there every week, but i think i have learned more than i've ever been able to teach them. we've been studying stories in the Old Testament in the context of the history of the world. hopefully it hasn't been as boring as it sounds here. :) we've studied creation, the exodus, and king david so far. as i have read these stories again that i have read and heard a thousand times, God has been so faithful to provide new insight and new learning to me. i hope i have been able to convey that to the kids that come on sunday nights.

so anyway, the point of this blog is to share some of those things that God has been teaching me and some things i've noticed for the firsr time this week as i have studied the good 'ole story of jonah.

-jonah told the other people on the boat what he was doing---running away from the Lord. wow. jonah knew exactly what he was doing when he ran away and he still did it. why don't i realize that that is what i am doing when i start to run away? why do i still go when i do realize what i'm doing? wouldn't it be easier to stop and turn back to God? jonah sure did have to go through a lot before he decided to follow the Lord again.

-after jonah told the men to throw him in the sea, the men in the boat continued to try to fix the situation themselves. "instead, the men did their best to row back to land" (v. 13). that is me to a T! even after i've been given some sort of direction, i still try to do things on my own so many times because i think that my way is still the best way. why am i such an idiot sometimes?? just like the men in the boat, it's only when i finally realize that i can't do it my way do i cry out to the Lord.

-it usually takes a lot longer than 3 days and 3 nights "in the belly of a big fish" for me to figure out that i need to turn back to God and follow Him in obedience, but i'm working on it. i'm working at obeying Him when He calls.

-i can identify with jonah on so many levels with the whole "getting angry at God because He is a compassionate God" thing. why in the world am i like this? what am i thinking? do i really think i have a right to be mad at God because He has grace and compassion on other people that i think deserve His wrath? i know i have a long way to go in this area, i think we all probably do, but i'm working on it. i'm working to love people more every day and see them with God's eyes and not my own.

-God is concerned about those that are not on the path that lead to Him. He has called me to love those people and meet them where they are and allow Him to draw them to Himself. He has called me to walk alongside them and show them what loving people and loving Jesus is all about (even though it is obvious from this posting that i don't have that all figured out yet). i love it and can't wait to continue to work fulfill this calling.

God has been good this summer and He will continue to be good. He has taught me so much. i can't wait to continue to learn and grow deeper in Him. i can't wait to see what's next. i want to be more like Him and less like myself.