From the Inside Out...: April 2008

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Endings...

it's here...the end of college...i'm still not exactly sure how i feel about all of these things...but i decided to post anyway...so here goes for all 2 people out there that read this...

internship---i've done... i finished up my hours on thursday but i went back yesterday to get my evaluation signed and take care of some other paperwork. it was sad. i can't believe i have spent 480 hours there this year investing not only in the lives of clients, but also the lives of my coworkers other interns. i am going to miss walking into chaos and crisis every tuesday and thursday. my roommate is hoping that i won't create crisis in my life as a method of coping with this change.

KXA---senior send off was last night...i'm still here, but just barely. i never thought i would see the day when i was sad to leave because of all of the crap i had to deal with while i was the president and just drama in general, but i was truly sad to leave. most of my college memories have kxa in them and it will always be a part of my life because it has helped shaped who i am. i know that the friends that i made while in kxa will continue to be my friends (hopefully), but it will be difficult to know what to do with myself on tuesdays @ 6pm.

class---this one isn't sad. i'm so glad that it's over and the next time i'm in class it is because i have truly chosen to take those classes and they are something i am genuinely interested in. i am looking forward to not having to take math or science ever again...:)

undergrad in general---i've realized that saying "goodbye" is something that i am not good at AT ALL...i hate the emotional roller coaster that comes along with it...i know, i'm staying here to go to the grad school, but still, having to say goodbye for the summer is brutal...thank goodness i am going to be back in a few weeks...:)

i know that it will survive all of this, but it's been a little rough. i want to be able to celebrate everything that is going on and truly enjoy everything that is happening this week, but i find that hard to do. it's hard too because my friends are all dealing with this in really different ways and there aren't too many that are sad/sentimental about everything that is going on. but, i'm doing better every day...a little less sad, a little more happy...:)

Friday, April 18, 2008

a list...

so, i guess it's time for me to update this thing a little bit. there have been several times throughout the semester that i've considered writing, but i could never get a good grasp on what i wanted to write about or begin to try to put my thoughts and emotions about this being my last semester at school into words...

so instead of writing about what i'm doing or how i'm feeling, i thought i would start off with a list of things you might should know about me if you don't already know...i started it in my psychology of religion class today because i was bored and i've been thinking about some of these things a lot lately. there could probably be an entire post about each one of them...maybe someday i'll get around to that...so...here goes...:)

1) i complain about things that i really love. (Ex-my internship @ Child Protective Services...i complain about having to go twice a week, but in my heart i love it and i am going to miss it so much).

2) i am not very adventurous by nature, but i am learning how to be a little more each day.

3) i have an extreme love/hate relationship with my extended family.

4) i struggle with disclosing too much information about myself, especially with members of the opposite gender.

5) i may appear to think highly of myself, but i don't. sometimes i have self-esteem issues.

6) my nephews are the loves of my life. i will know when i have found "mr. right" because i will love him more than i love them.

7) i am not sure why, but large crisis events/situations are very interesting to me (Ex-El Dorado Polygamists situation, Branch Davidians, etc).

8) according to the StrengthsFinder, my strengths are Belief, Developer, Maximizer, Relator, Connectedness. i was originally a skeptic about whether those were my strengths, but now i believe it wholeheartedly.

9) i have a deep desire to change the world.

10) most of the time, i just need time to talk things through aloud with someone in order to make sense of something. i don't necessarily need anyone to talk back or give advice, i just need someone to listen to me ramble on and on until i can come to grips with something.

so there it is...10 things that you might not know about me that might be helpful...:) hope you enjoyed that...

now i hope that you will enjoy some pictures of my life from this semester...